pHPIIIP
.rm  7.00"
Nile --with a side order of life
"Right, now come here you little devil." Nile crept forward on 
the fallen log, the only thing bridging the chasm between him and the 
clown. "Here, I've got some candy for you!" He could only barely be 
heard over the din of the beating rain. 
The clown crept away from the edge of the ravine, whimpering 
slightly. His huge, red shoes didn't offer much by way of mobility, 
but then, he hadn't been expecting a chase either. His billowing white 
outfit with the brightly colored polka-dots was a bit muddied from all 
the running in the muck, and his white face with the pomegranate sized 
nose was decidedly the worse for wear.
"Look, this has all been good fun and whatnot, but I really am 
getting soaked, and would like us to end on an amicable note, if it's 
at all possible. Here, I'll even settle for the balloon." Nile reached 
out a beckoning hand, but the clown shied away even further, pulling 
back his bright red balloon, clinging tightly to the string in his 
gloved hand.
"You don't sound very convincing." The sultry, feminine disappro
val came from right behind, and shocked Nile so badly that he almost 
fell right off the log and into the fissure beneath.
"Nnaagh!" He snapped his head around to behold his incessant 
female counterpart. She was standing right behind him, dolled up to 
the nines in her flashy, cropped, silvery jacket and her green, elas
ticine tights, complete with black, spiked heels for footwear, and a 
wonderfully, complementary pair of earrings. Her hair was arranged in 
a splendidly garish fashion with the bangs primped up and the rest 
done in elaborate braids down her back. Instantly, Nile observed that 
she was perfectly dry. 
"Now hang about, how is it that you're not sloggered like the 
rest of us, I--" Nile cut himself off as he looked up and observed the 
umbrella droid which hovered a span above her and fanned out a great 
black chute which kept her perfectly untouched from the rain. 
Nile's face cringed. "Bloody cheek. I should've known."
The woman looked up impassively at the clown. "Better run, he's 
getting away." 
Nile's head cracked back around to notice the clown escaping. 
"Right. Well the little pratt won't get far." With that, he stood up 
on two legs and began ambling after the harlequin, skittering off wet 
pieces of bark from the old log and almost falling to his utter death.
If blaz
 were a woman, it was she. With a sigh, she looked up at 
the umbrella droid. It lowered a tiny platform by a rod from the 
underside of its body. The woman stepped on it. This feature was 
typically used to help one traverse mud puddles, but as far as the 
droid was concerned, a yawning chasm wasn't far removed. She hovered 
across it silently.
 Nile had made it to the other side, and was galloping along at 
the heels of the clown. It peeked over it's shoulder and gave another 
whimper. 
"Stop that infernal sniveling!" Nile bellowed. "If you would only 
talk we could discuss this rationally!"
At that moment the clown tripped on a twig. Nile was on top of 
him. He wrestled him to the ground and pinned down his balloon hand. 
"Hah! Got you, haven't I? Now, come on and we'll sort this like gen
tlemen."
The rain was starting to let up a bit. There was an orangeish sun 
peeking out from behind a large zeppelin overhead. The woman hovered 
over and spotted the two engaged in a Greco-Roman rendition. "Nile, if 
you want to suck chemicals out of balloons, we could've just gone to 
the fair."
Nile was doing his best to pin the writhing clown, who appeared 
to have the contingency of a load of well-oiled snakes. "Jessica, do 
you think I'm mad enough to chase this little pillock for a piffeling 
balloon? Ow! Quit struggling you idiot! It's not balloon gasses I'm 
after, It's the little nipper himself. Oh, life, would you 
PLEASE STOP
WHINING!
 You see, Jes, they fill these up with lithium tetracycline 
which has the most wonderful hallucinogenic effects, and I---" At that 
instant there was a sharp burst and a sound explosion which sent Nile 
flying back onto his laurels as the clown, along with his balloon, 
popped into nothingness.
"Bugger!" Nile screamed. Then he stood up and brushed himself 
off. "Double Bugger! I nearly 
 him!" The woman was examining her 
fingernails.  The sun was high overhead now, it's orangeish glow 
warming nothing. The zeppelin had moved on, pulling the dark rain
clouds in tow.
"They do keep it cold here, don't they?" Nile commented absently 
as he pulled some of the mud from his hair.
The woman continued to examine her fingernails "Kind of tradi
tional, I suppose. They do like to keep with tradition."
"Hm. Quite. Still, you'd think they'd at least do away with those 
awful kilts. --But anyway..." The woman, having run out of finger
nails, looked up at him now with half closed eyes. "I suppose we'll 
have to make some new plans..." She stared at him dispassionately. 
"--Say, I've got it! Isn't there an hospital hereabouts?"
She paused a moment before answering. "There's two people over 
the next hill. They came in a vehicle of some sort, I believe."
"Perfect!" Nile exclaimed. "Let's be getting on then. Hm?"
At the top of the hill they saw a young couple lounging on an 
outstretched blanket in the grass. There were periodic cooing noises 
and other telling sounds coming from them. Off in the distance to 
their right was a hovering ground vehicle.
"Right then," Nile whispered, "When I give the word, then." but 
as he was in mid-sentence, the woman was up and over the hill, hover
ing over to the car.
"The little tart," he spat out as he himself bounded over the 
hill toward the car.
His worn loafers made only slight padding noises in the grass. In 
moments, he reached the floating auto. It bobbed gently as he ambled 
into it. Instantly, he whipped out his Swiss army knife and cut out a 
panel around the ignition. He pulled out a few wires and began to 
combine them in different ways.
"Here now!" The shout came from the foot of the little hill where 
the couple was lounging. "Get right jolly out of that skiff right 
now!"
 The svelte woman threw a delayed glance in the irate fellow's 
direction. "Pay him no mind, Jeneil, he's just looking for attention."
"Ye can get yer slaggerin' rump out of that auto this instant, or 
I'll gut ye where ye stand." He unsheathed a rather wicked looking 
knife from a scabbard on his kilt and began galloping toward them.
"Oh, aren't we very trite," Nile said under his breath as he 
continued to toy with the wires. It took only another second and a few 
sparks, and the engines came alive with a loud whir. "Right then, 
Jamie, hang on."
The young man with the large dirk froze in his tracks. Nile 
brought the car to bear, pointing it directly at the surprised fellow. 
"Hope i run into you again some time." Nile said, cheerily. At that 
there was a great surge of noise from the engines and the car shot 
off. It nailed the young man right in the forehead and sent him to the 
ground with a loud thump. "Bloody cheek," he muttered as they depart
Nile was to driving as asteroids are to their orbits: At high 
randomness, and sideswiping their mates with little or no regard. 
Trees and scrub went by them in a blur. smaller vehicles impacted on 
the sides as they swept past them. Nile was driving with one hand, the 
other arm resting on the door. The woman was slouching in the passeng
er seat, her legs propped up on the dash.
"It's nice of you to take me for a drive, for a change." she 
said.
"Oh please don't go on. You know how I loathe the countryside. 
This is a purely functional ride."
There was a pause of silence, after which the woman spoke up 
again. "Why do people still build hospitals, Nile?"
"Well, there are three schools of thought, none of which really 
interest me, but several answers do present themselves: First off, is 
it gives people something to do; Second, a lot of people 
like
 doing 
things the hard way --the old fashioned way, they call it. They'd 
rather do things the painful way, like getting casts or natural child 
birth, as opposed to just growing new limbs and children in jars."
"And the third?"
"Well, this may sound kind of cracked, but history records that 
as we had perfected copying disease-fighting agents onto peoples' 
chromosomes, as well as gene tailoring to give people the eye and hair 
color they wanted, hospitals began to fade out of existence. People no 
longer needed them. They passed on perfect genes to their children. 
They said good-bye to jello, liquid diets, and grey carpets and that 
was the end of it."
"But why did they come back?"
"Well, that's the crackey part: People found that they missed 
them. They missed smelly old rooms that stank of formaldehyde, they 
missed the rotten food. They missed everything. So they brought them 
back."
"Oh."
"Besides, people are always going to want to change their eye and 
hair color."
"Hm. True."
Nile looked out the windshield up ahead through the haze of 
rushing trees. "How far away is hospital?"
"Another mile or so off."
"Ah, good. Then we ought to be arriving there in another two 
seconds or so."
"Hm?"
Now!
" With that scream, he caught her by the wrist and leapt out 
of the car, pulling her in tow.
There was a huge explosion as the auto collided with an ambulance 
at breakneck speed. Flames swept up over both vehicles. Bits of metal 
showered down out of the sky. Also, there were several loud 'Ooff's as 
Nile and his compatriot impacted with two paramedics hauling off a 
wounded man in a gurney. All five of them tumbled and came to a halt, 
panting and bleeding. The woman had landed square on her firm bottom, 
and was looking herself over for bruises. None were evident. As she 
looked up at Nile, she noticed that he too was relatively unscathed. 
"Wait, Nile. How come we didn't get hurt?"
"Physics, love. In a head-on collision, the fastest one wins."
"Oh. I see." She got up and brushed herself off. As she looked 
up, Nile was already dashing toward the entrance. After removing every 
last speck of dust, she sauntered toward the door behind him at lei
surely gait.
Nile burst through the doors. He brushed his eyes over the vari
ous signs, and strode into one of the dozen hallways before him. 
"Excuse me sir!" a young male receptionist called out after him. 
"Can I..." His voice was cracking. "Can I...--"
"You most certainly can, son." Nile replied. "Have 7000cc's of 
lysetho-detrehydremene rushed --and I mean 
rushed
-- down to room 203. 
I'll be the one with the spoon in my mouth. There's a good lad."
"I see..." the boy lied. He was, however, able to remember the 
room number, and got on the phone to send a security guard down there. 
As he was prattling on to the folks in security, all of whom really 
detested the little worm's whiny voice and gave him a lot of hassle 
about it, The voluptuous woman with the green elasticine tights 
waltzed through the door, and kept on waltzing right on down the very 
same hall that Nile had taken.Right behind her, there came in a troop 
of paramedics carrying three gurneys among them which held the bodies 
of two other paramedics, and a badly injured man.
She made it to the room in several minutes. Upon entering, she 
noticed Nile rummaging through a cabinet. Every shelf and drawer had 
been ransacked, with bits of tape and scissors and bandages being 
tossed aside. He didn't look up for even a moment.
"Brilliant room service they've got here, isn't it? Not even a 
bloody bottle of aspirin to be had. Honestly, I could just scream."
"Pity," the woman replied absent-mindedly. She spied a fingernail 
file on one of the shelves. Retrieving it, she went to work on her 
cuticles. 
After several more minutes of Nile searching and her manicuring, 
she spoke. "There's someone in the next room being led into surgery."
Nile dropped the drawer he was searching. It smashed on the 
ground. "Well, why didn't you tell me earlier! Bloody hell, Jamie!" He 
pulled a large magic marker from the mess and wrote 'NEXT ROOM' on the 
floor with a large arrow pointing to a door in the wall. Nile tossed 
the pen away, threw open the door, and dashed through in a huff.
He arrived to see a very pregnant woman in the midst of travail, 
being helped onto a stretcher. All heads turned to see who had en
tered.
Nile met their glares. "All right, lads. What seems to be the 
situation?" The two young interns looked at each other in bewilder
ment. The woman could be heard huffing and puffing behind them. "Well 
bugger this for a game of Sojies. You two aren't any of those vat-
grown types that we've been trying to get off the payroll, are you?"
"Well, n-no, sir, we just, ah--"
"Never mind that!" Nile snapped. He strode over to the woman in 
travail and put the end of his necktie to her chest like it was a 
stethoscope. "What type of anesthesia is this woman meant to receive?"
"M-morphine, sir."
"Fabulous! That's one of my old favorites!" Nile clapped his 
hands together in glee. "Well, hurry up now, lads. No time to hang 
about. We've got to see that all the preparations are made. Let's be 
off to take care of this now, shall we?"
The intern who was talking earlier was now unable to speak 
through his own stammering. The other one had to take over. "But, b-
but we, we..."
"My life! What a terrible waste of skin you both are! I suppose 
I'm going to have to walk down there myself?"
"W-well, no, I mean, of course not."
"Well, there. You are good for something after all." Nile gave 
one of them a pat on the back as he laid down on the stretcher. He 
reached over to hold the woman's hand who was still breathing fierce
ly. "If anyone comes looking for me, you'll be sure to tell them where 
I've gone. Bless you, dear." She failed to reply, being far too caught 
up with respiration to be very vocal. At that, he pulled a sheet up 
over him, and was carried out of the room by the interns, feeling for 
the first time all day that things were finally beginning to work out.
In the operating room, a team of doctors were nattering away. A 
competent group of nurses were checking equipment. A worried and 
ecstatic would-be-father was pacing about the room, checking and 
double-checking the camera drones he had strategically positioned in 
each corner of the room, so as to not miss a moment of the blessed 
event. 
A stretcher came bursting through the doors, piloted by two very 
squeamish interns. A hubbub of voices rang out. The cart was wheeled 
under glaring lights, and all in the room gathered to the table like 
gnats to a grape. A chorus of medicines and instruments were called 
for. The anxious forthcoming father leaned into the midst of the horde 
with yet another camera in hands. All eyes went to the form under the 
bed sheet as the spread was pulled back to reveal the face beneath.
There was a sudden hush. The buzzing of voices died down as the 
visage of Nile H. Dayman was unveiled: eyes closed, and mouth smiling 
thinly. As the voices died out to a dead silence, Nile opened one eye 
and stared at them, quizzically. He then turned and looked at the 
interns which had brought him. "Now I'm beginning to wonder who's 
lower on the food chain."
The would've-been-father looked on incredulously. His face went 
red as his blood boiled up inside him. "
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY
WIFE!!
" he screamed.
"Oh she's got a telly in her room to keep her entertained." Nile 
replied.
The infuriated forlorn-father grasped a scalpel from the nearest 
table, and with an inhuman shriek lunged at Nile.
Nile rolled out of the way of the attack like a weasel. He scram
bled to his feet a yard away from the operating table. He ran a hand 
through his tousled hair. "Bollocks. For a moment, things were looking 
up."
"Seize him!" came cries from the medical personnel. The disillu
sioned-daddy was wrestling to get the scalpel free from it's six-inch 
burial in the table. More angry, green-clad baddies came racing at him 
from the hallway. Nile was looking about in all directions and sweat
ing profusely. 
"Oh, Nile." The sultry, discreet, feminine voice came from behind 
him and was just barely heard above the din of the people in the room. 
He spun around to see his female colleague standing in a doorway. 
"Fabulous timing you've got, Janice!" he swore, as he raced toward 
her.
He dashed through and shut the door behind him. There was a rush 
of air and a loud THUNK! as the blade of a scalpel pierced the door, 
jutting through to the other side. Nile locked the door and looked 
about madly. The woman opened another door in the opposite wall. "This 
way." she said in a voice bereft of passion.
The two were rapidly striding down the hall looking for exit 
signs, when three large security droids came floating around the 
corner, wielding large energy weapons and scowling at them with 
fierce, red eyes. Everyone came to a stop. Then the chief robot spoke 
up in a loud, digital voice.
"Report to the Main Office that the intruders have been located 
and subdued."
Nile glared at them contemptuously. "You might just as well 
report that you've found a load of worms and are preparing to wash and 
cook them."
One of the security droids behind the leader looked a bit sheep
ish --or whatever passes for sheepish among security droids. "Baked 
worms, 601?"
"Don't listen to him, 309!" The foremost droid turned about to 
reprove the underling. "He's speaking gibberish to try to undermine 
your logic circuits!"
Nile gave a faint smile. "If you've got any logic circuits to 
speak of, then I've got a string of bellybuttons running up my spine."
The other droid piped up now. "Truly, 601, don't you think that's 
a bit odd? I mean, perhaps these aren't the ones we're looking for?"
"In fact," Nile added, "we can go about our business."
"You can go about your business?" the droid replied helplessly.
"Move along." Nile concluded.
"Move along?" it whimpered.
"Thanks." Nile said. He darted skillfully around the droids with 
his female counterpart at his heels.
The leader of the security droids was infuriated. "305! I ought 
to report this to the Main Office!"
"Right-ho, 601." 305 then turned on his transceiver. "Um, Main 
Office, 601 would like to report an incident of baked-belly-buttons 
eating worms--"
305!
" The lead droid bellowed.
"Uh, right. That's on level 305--"
And with that 601 shot him.
At that point, Nile and the woman had ducked into an empty room 
and were hiding out from the many guards, doctors and one melancholy-
poppy who was still chasing Nile, after having found a bigger knife.
The woman was reclining in a stiff hospital bed, her long, tight 
legs resting upon a traction set up next to the bed. One hand was 
behind her head, and the other was wearily batting at an IV tube that 
hung down over her head. Nile was sitting on a stool, weary and crum
pled, his arms hanging down limply. His hair was tangled, his face 
pale, and his jaw hanging slightly open. He sat, idly listening to the 
doors down the hall being opened and slammed.
At length he spoke: "It's not worth it, is it Joanne." 
No response.
Nile continued. "I mean, going through my whole bloody life, I've 
looked for some way, 
 way to entertain myself. I've dabbled surrep
titiously in politics. I've gone shark hunting. I've jousted with 
starships. I've gone bungee-jumping into black holes. I even spent a 
whole week in Amsterdam. And what have I found? The best trick is to 
put chemicals into my body and see what my subconscious can dish up."
The woman kept batting at the IV tube, doing it now in rhythm to 
the slamming of the doors in the hall.
Nile resumed his soliloquy: "What can compare to exploring my 
psyche and seeing what kind of mental demons I can conjure. Compara
tively, everything else is rather mundane."
At that, the woman raised her head slightly and looked at the 
door on the far wall. "That door. Thirty seconds." she said.
After a moment, Nile hunkered off his stool and looked in the 
bin. he found a plastic container filled with a fluid and a couple of 
hypodermic needles. He took off the bright orange lid which read: 
BIOHAZARD. He then walked to the door and opened it slightly. He 
balanced the open container on the top, and shuffled back to his seat. 
He stared at the door for several seconds.
Then the door burst wide open. A familiar fallacious intern stood 
in the doorway. "Chah!" he exclaimed. "Favorite anesthetic indee--"
But he was cut off, for as he opened the door, the container came 
crashing down upon him. the fluid splashed all over him and made him 
shriek. Clutching at his face, he slipped in the liquid and fell to 
the floor. There were then a few subdued twangs as half a dozen syr
inges dropped into his body and wiggled.
Nile and the woman looked on expressionlessly. The young man 
crawled out into the hallway and went screaming down the corridor. 
Nile turned ever so slowly and looked at her. 
"You see what I mean?"
*    *    *
They eventually made it out of hospital with some of the morphine 
Nile was looking for. There was a really neat bit with a laundry 
chute, a syringe, a shrinking machine and a patient with a big lump in 
his side. It would be a lot of fun to hear about it sometime.
The woman picked the last of the dirty pieces of linen from her 
person, leaving a little trail behind her. Nile was so numb that he 
could barely walk, much less worry about abstract pieces of linen.
They walked for some time along the grassy countryside. At 
length, Nile spoke. "You know, a drink would be absolutely smashing 
right now." 
His consort turned to face him, and stared at him through half 
closed eyes. "You buying?" she said flatly.
Nile wore a grin that went on for miles. "Oh sure. Why not. It's 
been such a good day already. I feel lucky. Why don't we go ask mum 
for some lolly." 
She just stared at him.
"Hang about, we'll need to get down to Islington, then, won't we? 
Fair enough." He spun about on one heel. Abruptly, he came to a halt. 
"Ho there! Blimy, we've got a lucky day haven't we?" He signaled in 
the direction of a far off gentleman, standing by a large rocket. 
"Let's ask this chap about transport."
After a brisk walk and a lot of stumbling on Nile's part, they 
approached a grey-bearded, grizzled, old man; weather worn, and hard
ened by the trials of life. Of course, they had ways to get over that, 
but he found that the look really suited him. He was bent over an 
aspect of his rocket, cutting away at it with saw-like instrument.
Nile strolled over to him. "Good day, old fellow! How's about 
sporting me and the missus on a little spree over to London."
The old man gave a grunt and looked up from his machine. He 
raised a single, bushy, white eyebrow, and gave Nile a long, hard 
squint. "Hmph. Looks like a refugee Toley-Poker from Kelvinside.  
Taken a wee too much of the bevy, too by the looks of it."
"Yes, delighted to meet you, too. Now look, we've got a pressing 
social engagement. How about a ride?"
The old man gave him an even harder squint.
Nile let it go by. "Look, we're outstanding citizens of the 
community, and we need a lift. How about it?" Nile was obviously in a 
good mood to go on talking this long.
"D'sny matter who you are or what you want!" the man spat back. 
"This train don't run on good will! If you be after a ride, Eye better 
see some cally dosh!"
"Oh that!" Nile said. He began searching about his person. Vain 
ritual. He stopped after a moment. "Not a penny to be had, I'm afraid. 
Fact, I was just running home to mum to borrow a little. Suppose we 
could ride on credit?"
The old man harrumphed again. "Pure, dead, brilliant." He stared 
at them again. "Sorry laddie, no dosh, no ride."
"Ah. I see then. Could I at least borrow your tool?" he reached 
out his hand. 
The timeworn Scotsman handed it to him reluctantly.
"Right then, just be a second." Nile squatted down next to an old 
tree stump. He laid his left arm across it. He placed the blade at his 
elbow, and began to saw away. The svelt woman looked on. The haggard 
gent took a bit of a shock. After a few moments, Nile got back up and 
returned the saw to the old man. He then retrieved his left arm from 
the stump and offered it to the Scotsman. "There's an hospital down 
the road a bit. The DNA samples and the tissues --oh and some of the 
blood vessels ought to fetch you a tidy sum. They're always looking 
for this sort of thing."
After long moments of consideration, accompanied by little drip-
drips on the grass beneath them, the Scotsman's frown faded. He then 
began to smile. "What a tosser." he said, followed by a small chuckle. 
"Fair enough, Jimbo. I'll see what I can fetch for it." He took the 
arm from Nile. "Time as I was on my weary way anywho." With that, he 
began to amble down the road.
"Old man," Nile called out after him, "what about the ignition?"
"Oh yeah," he said, turning himself about. "Ye just hit the 
buttons in the cockpit. Easy as falling off a dyke."
"Thank you, my perennial, old chappie. Hope to be seeing you 
around."
"The name's McCullogh. And thankye for the business. If I don't 
see ye aboot, I'll see ye a sannie!"
"Yes. Goodbye!"
Nile was in a really good mood.
Shortly after starting the engines, Nile cauterized his wound on 
a heating element. The anti-grav units shot them up at a rapid pace. 
The balmy countryside swept away beneath them, and soon became a green 
patch on an otherwise blue orb. Their climb ceased after a moment. 
Nile arose from his seat and looked out the viewport. The vastness of 
the cosmos lay before his eyes. An endless sheet of velvet, smattered 
with random pinpricks of light. He ran a single hand through his hair.
The ship turned about. The glow of a bright yellow-orange sun 
sifted into one side of the viewport. After a moment longer, some of 
the lesser planets could be seen, moving doggedly in their routine 
treks along the ecliptic. After a little more turning of the ship, the 
sun could be fully seen, as well as the globes it shone on. Directly 
in his view was the enormous planet 
Europe.
 Its swirling masses of 
methane and helium danced madly about the planet. Orbiting around this 
goliath were a dozen little blue spheres, each with their own great 
oceans and expanses of land; each, Nile thought, with their own sorts 
of cultures and tongues.
"It's quite a marvel, Isn't it Jean?"
The woman was sauntering lazily about the ship, touching instru
ments and whatever else seemed like it might yield a trace of inter
est. "Seen it before." She said flatly.
"No, I know that. I mean, 
I've
 seen it before too, but I seldom 
stop to think about the wonder of it all, you know. Amazing that 
entropy could produce such a system."
"What do you know. You're on drugs. Everything's beautiful for 
you until they wear off."
Nile looked on. He saw the Benelux system swinging out in its 
orbit in the distance. Right before him he could see France, with 
Spain immediately behind it. "You know, In an ancient history class I 
took in college, I read that the nations were all together once on the 
same sphere."
Jane stopped pacing and looked at him. "I find that hard to 
believe."
"Sounds a bit far-fetched to me, too. Still, I'll bet it was much 
the same as it is now. I can't imagine it being any other way."
It took them a little while for the planet underneath them to 
rotate over to where they were above London. After some trouble find
ing a parking place, they set down and headed along Barker Road till 
they hit mum's place. The maroon door needed paint, and the street 
numbers needed to be replaced.
"Right then," Nile said, straightening his stained tie up around 
his gaunt neck, "let's see what kind of mood she's in. Shall we?" 
Having thusly summoned up his courage, he stepped inside.
The door creaked shut behind them. "Hallo! Who's down there?" 
came a sharp cry from within.
"Ah, the enchanting cackle of my mum," Nile said through smiling 
lips. "You know, as a child I would insist that she not sing me lulla
bies. P'raps I could bring that up. Play at her guilt, you know." The 
woman glared at him. "Well I don't suppose you've got a better idea, 
do you?" 
"Go on! Either come and face me or get back out on the street and 
out of my house!" the voice cried again.
"Tough choice, that one," Nile whispered under his breath. "Mum, 
it's me! I've come to visit!" Nile stepped forward a few, anxious 
paces.
"Who in blazes would that be?" was the reply, a little less stiff 
than before. There was a sound of hissing. After a moment a comfort
able, olive-green chair was seen hovering around the corner. In it was 
perched a thin, grey woman. She was almost lost in the cushions. She 
reached for a leather case and pulled out a pair of stout spectacles. 
She furrowed an eyebrow ridge whose eyebrows had long since gone the 
way of the dodo.
Nile shuffled his feet a bit. The old woman's face unpuckered 
slowly as she made out the features of the figure before her. "...On 
my word... Could that be 
my son Nile?
 She delineated out each word 
with increasing disbelief, expending a great deal of her breath in 
pronouncing every syllable with exactness and despondency. By the time 
she had finished the sentence, she was fully exhausted of oxygen, and 
lunged back in her chair, gasping and coughing.
Nile sighed and put his hand on his hip. "Oh come on now. I paid 
you a visit just a little while ago."
Mum's coughing spell came to an end. She gave several deep 
breaths. "Ah yes... Indeed you did... I was a much younger woman, 
then: Fair of face, and graceful of figure..."
"--Oh do we have to go through this bit again? Honestly, I take 
so much abuse around this household."
Mum's chair hovered over to a small table with several pictures 
upon it. "Oh yes," she stated, picking up one of the dusty picture 
frames, "a much younger woman then." She looked at the faded black and 
white portrayal of a fair, dark haired woman holding a small boy by 
the hand.
Nile exhaled sharply. "Right then. Diplomatic approach aborted. 
How about some cash?"
Mum kept looking at the picture. She liked the dead, uncomfort
able silence, as evidenced by her wraithlike smile. After what seemed 
like ages, she spoke. "You know, your uncle was by here lately saying 
that a bit of work had come up. He said that he had a job opening."
"Right. Look, mum, comedy's just not your line. I'm busy. You 
know I'm busy. I'd be flattered if I was in your place, receiving a 
visit from me and all. I'd absolutely love to sit about and chat over 
tea, but you probably haven't got anything to put in it which would 
make my head go all wobbly and cause me to cavort about the house 
making a lot of glottal noises."
"We do have a bit of jasmine in the cupboard, actually." Her tone 
was far from hopeful.
"Right. As I thought. Well, that being the case, we'll just have 
to go someplace where they serve the kind of stuff I'm after. If I 
could please just prey on your maternal instincts to provide for your 
young, I'll not be taking up any more of your precious time."
"Us? What's this us I'm hearing?" She adjusted her spectacles and 
peered through them tenaciously. "Has my boy really acquired a 'we' 
status?" 
"Now look, there's no reason for any optimism, here--"
"You didn't even mention her as you came in." Mum turned and 
gazed affectionately at the newfound female form in the room. "I do 
hope you can discipline him, love. Heaven knows I've tried. --You 
know, he wasn't even properly toilet trained until he was---"
"--MUM! You promised!" Nile bellowed.
"Oh, yes. Quite. Now then, do you have a name, love?"
"No she doesn't."
"Wasn't speaking to you, Nile," she snapped. Then, softly again 
to the woman, "What is your name, child?"
Nile piped up again. "Jerri. It's short for Jerrianne." 
Mum gave him a warning look. She turned back to the girl. "Is it 
really, dear?" she queried sweetly.
"No." The girl replied.
Mum's face did not move for a whole minute. "Oh."
Nile gave an exasperated exhale. "Look, mum, I'm in a hurry. Can 
pleeease
 speed this process up just a bit? Hm? Prithee?"
Mum's face went sour. "All right." She brothe out the words in a 
practiced manner. That tone of voice could fill the stoutest man with 
the utmost guilt when properly executed. It frustrated Nile to no end. 
The chair turned about abruptly in the air. "Just let me go and fetch 
my purse," she said, in the same, nerve-crinkling tone.
"Thank you." Nile said, exhausted. The svelte, blonde woman was 
running her finger over the old, wooden banister by the stairwell.
"Still, I think you ought to consider that job with your uncle 
Bob."
The blonde looked up at that. "Uncle 
Bob?
" she said incredulous
"Yes," continued mum from the other room. "A job would suit you 
well. Might even keep you home sometimes."
The blonde turned and looked at Nile. "Bob's your uncle."
Nile glared at her. "Bite your tongue."
*     *     *
"Twenty-eight p. Do you believe that? I expect my inheritance 
won't be much more." Nile pushed the coins into a pocket and strode 
off down the sidewalk. 
The fair-haired female walked behind at a leisurely pace, taking 
in the houses and the countryside. "I wish I hadn't seen it before." 
Nile's brow furrowed. "Let's see then... What shall it be?  The 
Bath, perhaps? No... went there last time I was in town... How about 
Norfolk Broads? No, no, no. Bad timing. The druids will be coming 
through there on their way to Stonehenge, I shouldn't wonder. Nattie's 
perhaps? Course that's clear off in Oxford..."
The woman spoke up: "Nile..."
"Bormoph?"
"Nile?"
"Weymeth?"
"Nile!"
"Hm? Pardon? Some brilliant new disease I should be aware of?"
"Nile, why don't we do some real traveling?"
"You're too good for Islington?"
"Nile, we've 
seen
 Islington. There's all kinds of things happen
ing when I see the news. Why don't we 
 somewhere."
Nile came to a dead stop. He turned to his companion. "You know, 
you're right."
A glimmer of hope entered one of her eyes.
"You've really inspired me, you know."
She smiled.
"We'll go to the Hog's Breath tavern." And with that, he turned 
on his heel and marched down the walk. "We'll have to catch a ride 
into town." He called over his shoulder.
She sighed, and followed.
Streetlights and headlights glared from odd nooks and around 
twisted bends. Neon this's and that's peered from within windows. A 
parade of autos and lorrys stretched along every street, each one 
nudging the one before it. Daylight was giving way to darkness as 
little pinpricks of starlight began to poke through a violet sky.
Nile stepped out of a red, double-decker bus onto the sidewalk. 
He dashed through puddles and crowds, finally making it to the pub. 
His compatriot made it through with much less hassle than he had. They 
entered into the warm, hospitable atmosphere, and breathed in the 
fumes of food and fraternizing. Nile stepped over to the bar.
"Hello! You there. Yes, I'd like a triple scotch with ice. --Just 
get some frozen vodka for the ice."
The barmaid was a haggard woman who had probably seen more wars 
than Nile had seen years. She looked at him unpleasantly. "You want a 
chaser with that?"
"Kind offer. I'll take two... no better make that ten pints of 
bitter. Thanks." Nile spun around on his seat and whistled cheerfully 
to himself. Everyone tried to ignore him. 
His golden-haired partner began wandering lazily through the bar. 
The spikes on her heels made slight indents in the carpet. Her hips 
rolled smoothly, her legs moved easily, like a fine timepiece ticks 
off seconds.  The varied lights in the room were reflected on the 
subtle curves of her dark green tights. Men crossed their legs, or sat 
up in their chairs. Wives and girlfriends glared at their men. 
There came a loud guffaw, and a gravely voice bellowed: "Here, 
lassie! You lookin' for a wee bit o' company?" Laughter from his mates 
followed.
The woman strolled over to a stool and reposed onto it with a 
feline prowess. She stretched, arching her back, and let out a tiny 
sigh.
The gravely voice chuckled. It was attached to a tall man with 
broad shoulders. He got up from his seat at a table and began lumber
ing toward her. His mates sniggered and squinted from the table. 
"Mebbe you din'y hear me, lassie, I be offerin' to buy ye a drink and 
keep ye company..."
The woman leveled her eyes at him. Her perfect lips parted and 
she spoke. "You were called 'Stinky' by your friends as a boy. You 
lost one of your fingers in a logging accident. You don't want your 
friends to know that you're staying with a woman called 'Wanda'. The 
name is actually an insinuation to a hideously disfigured woman that 
showed up in a periodical several years ago. You really like her, but 
you would never say so."
The burly man halted immediately. He went red. His mates stopped 
laughing. All chatter in the pub died instantly. The woman turned 
around on her seat and traced little circles on the bistro. There was 
a sound of heavy footsteps, then the opening and shutting of a door. 
After a long moment the chatter slowly came back.
Nile took the drink from the barmaid's hand. "Thank's mum. You're 
a dear. Really." The woman glared at him. Nile turned away from her 
and looked at a greenish life form seated at a table next to the 
barstools. "So, Belgium, you say."
The greenish alien took a draught of his beer and nodded. In 
place of eyes, he had two tiny vid-screens displaying pictures of 
eyes. He swallowed. "Yes. My parents were originally from Terrian 3, 
but I was born in Belgium."
Nile nodded. "Brilliant, brilliant. What brings you to London?"
The digital eyes in the vid screens blinked. "Well, originally, I 
came here to study. I ran out of cash, and now I'm working a bit here 
and there to build up some capital. Yourself?"
"What, work? Be kind sir. No, I was born here. I went to Brixton 
for awhile. Then I traveled about a bit. Lately, I've just been daw
dling here, though."
"I see." the alien replied. The eyes hovered in the screens. 
"London's a bit more tolerant of foreigners than other places, as 
well."
Nile mused. "Just don't leave London."
"Unless I pretend I'm a tourist, hm?"
Nile chuckled. "I gather you've been around, then."
A moment of silence passed.
The alien's wartish head bobbed up and turned to Nile. The eyes 
wavered. "So, what did you study in Brixton?"
"Oh," Nile swept his eyes lazily around the pub, "a bit of his
tory, a bit of philosophy, a bit of politics."
"Really. I studied philosophy myself."
"Hmm. Indulge me. What approach did you take?"
"Oh, a little Separatism, some Marxism, Heterogeny, Fallacy, 
Symbolic interaction, Vaccuumism--"
"You know, I did a paper on Vaccuumism."
"Really?"
"Oh, yes. For my field experiment, I compared the suppressive 
governments throughout history and their violent overthrows by the 
proletariat and showed how they weren't related at all."
"Good show, man. I had a bit of trouble keeping up with the load 
I was carrying, but I'm sure if I had indulged a bit more, I would've 
really got into it."
The blonde woman had been staring at Nile as he spoke with the 
oval-headed alien. She stood up and strolled casually over to him. She 
eventually got within earshot to hear them going on. The event horizon 
of their conversation was expanding logrythmically: taking in more and 
more topics; pulling denzies of loosely related themes into an inde
terminate gravity well of deliberation.
"--Well that all depends on what you mean by 
anthropomorphism
the greenish alien said. "In an expanding universe, 
anthro-
 is a very 
subjective term."
The woman walked over to Nile. "Arguing semantics again?"
Nile turned and glared at her. "What any good conversation should 
consist of."
She took a seat next to him.
The alien spoke up again. "Allright, tell me then: What do you 
define as your foremost ethic?"
Nile looked hard at the alien. He reclined back into his chair 
and swilled his drink. He leaned back on the bar on the stump of his 
arm, and spoke. "Ultimate Defeatism."
One of the digital eyes in the screens in the alien's head 
squinted. "How's that?"
Nile snorted. "It's an adaption on a much earlier theory. Of 
course, I have my own twist on it, as well. In a nutshell: Now that we 
can travel through space with ease, rebuild people from chromosomes, 
and augment any biological deficiency with machinery or medicine, 
nothing is very much fun anymore."
The digital eyes stared quizzically at Nile. "Sounds pretty odd, 
even by modern standards. Are you saying you'd rather go back to the 
first arrival? Limited knowledge and resources? Natural selection 
killing people off? Your fate decided by what genes you're born with?"
Nile looked up. "I suppose that the philosophical opposition I 
have is that we're trying to oust the power of entropy. We're not 
bright enough to figure out that entropy will keep functioning with or 
without our resistance."
The alien sat back sharply. "By that principle, we shouldn't even 
build houses or process food."
"I know, it's a bit controversial."
"Look, I've got as much fear of technology as the next fellow, 
but I wouldn't refuse it simply on the guise that elements will some
day break down. Take these for example." He tapped at the little vid 
screens on his face. "I don't 
 as humans do. I don't perceive what 
you call 'light' and 'dark' and 'color'. I've heard of them, never 
really understood the concepts. I go by balance, smell, and a subdued 
form of sonar. --But these," he said, tapping again at the little 
screens on his face, "are a tremendous help in communicating my feel
ings to people. Those eyes you've got are wonderfully expressive 
things, but I don't have them. I don't need them. But I like using 
these artificial ones to help people understand me."
Nile scrunched up his face. "Yes, but is that really an advan
tage? You remember your fallacy classes? Who wants to be understood! 
Why would you want someone to know what you're thinking?"
The svelte, golden haired woman looked up toward the entrance.  
Just then, the large, burly man who had earlier confronted her, barged 
in. His sleeves were rolled up. He was breathing hard. He was sweat
ing. His face was still red. 
The pub went quiet again. Nile looked at her quizzically. "Prob
lem, Janice?"
The woman looked straight at the husky man at the door. "Wanda's 
gone, isn't she?"
The man took slow, deliberate steps toward her. "Chaser, Nile."
"Hm? What?" Nile responded.
"Chaser." she repeated.
"Oh. Right." Nile turned to the barmaid. "Mum?" he said, "How 
about it?"
The sour-faced woman went to her business, during which time, the 
brawny man's mates who were earlier cheering him, got up from their 
table and began walking over toward Nile and his counterpart.
The bulky man stopped inches away from Nile. "She yours, laddie?" 
he said, giving a quick shake of his head in the direction of Nile's 
partner.
The barmaid appeared at the bar with a single draft. Nile took it 
in his good hand. He drew a tiny sip, then turned his head slightly, 
keeping one eye on his companion, and one eye on the livid man before 
him.
A tense moment passed. The alien's digital eyes looked anxious. 
The husky man's face turned white and his eyes swelled. 
"Now." the woman said.
The massive individual threw a fist. Nile responded instantly to 
his partner's warning and dropped off his chair like a rock. The huge, 
meaty fist sunk into the wood of the bar, shooting splinters every
where. Nile scrambled like a mouse under tables and feet, pouring out 
his beer behind him. The rest of the men who had come to support their 
mate went instantly after Nile. Tables went over. Chairs were thrown 
aside. Peoples' fish and chips went scattering to the floor. Irate 
voices cried out. Punches were thrown, blows exchanged. Only seconds 
had expired before pandemonium ensued.
Nile's track was marked by the trail of people falling in the 
beer he spilled. He popped up next to the greenish alien. "Look, it's 
been refreshing to have a pleasant conversation with someone. Perhaps 
another time?" 
The alien, already terrified of the rampant destruction going on 
around him, let out a shriek of terror at Nile's abrupt appearance.
"Right. I'll join you for a bit of primal screaming sometime in 
the future--"
"HEY!" The scream came from the acrid-tempered barmaid. "YOU'VE 
RUINED MY PUB!"
"Madam," Nile said, looking at her sternly, "I do not tell you 
about my problems."  Nile then ducked quickly to avoid an oncoming 
bottle. He then looked up and searched around the room. "Jamie? Oh, 
woman, this is no time for hide and seek." He then saw her waving from 
the door. "Oh. Right." He ducked down into the melee again, scuttling 
across the floor to the entrance.
The air was chill and crisp. Outlines of distant shapes were lost 
in a sea of incoherent lights. Nile and his benefactor walked hurried
ly down a cold sidewalk. He was still brushing pretzels and beer from 
his elbows and knees. Distantly, he could be heard saying "Allright, 
Joan, we'll travel."